Ah, good old Gradius! It… Um… Alright, I have something to confess. I cheated. That’s right, I cheated to beat this game, and I’m not even talking about using the Konami Code! You see, the above picture may be the first screen you’ll see upon starting the game, but this following screen is the one you’ll be seeing the most:

See that? See where it says “GAME OVER”? Yeah. That was on the first damn level. Gradius kicked my ass because that’s just what it does, it kicks people’s collective